Game Review: Aliens: Colonial Marines

Have you ever tried sleeping on a night train? It’s brilliant in theory and at first it’s really exciting. But in practice you’re thrown from side to side, there’s the constant noise of the track, and the other five people snoring in your carriage. You spend the entire journey praying for it to end. That’s exactly what this campaign is like. You’ll enjoy the first thirty minutes to an hour and then you’ll suddenly think to yourself “what the hell have they done to this game and why won’t it end?!”

THE CAMPAIGN

Aliens: Colonial Marines is set seventeen weeks after the film Aliens and is on the same planet. USS Sephora gets a distress call from the planet and goes to have a look around. To everyone’s surprise there just happens to be an infestation of Xenomorph on the planet. Your character and those around you have no idea what is going on and are constantly asking questions that anyone who has ever heard of the Alien films would have been able to give the answer to. This right here is the start of a long trend whereby the game tries to build some sort of suspense but it just doesn’t work at all.  

The game starts off quite well though and they chuck you straight into the deep end. You find yourself battling Xenomorph from the word go and it does seem quite fun. But then something happens. For some unknown reason you find yourself shooting at other humans that have pretty much come out of nowhere. Turns out they’re Weyland-Yutani men and they’re mad. You actually fight these guys for so long that you forget that this is a game about aliens until they remind you about two hours later. Luckily for you though their A.I isn’t very well programmed so you’ll find that they’ll just stand in the middle of rooms for you to kill them. Saying that the alien’s A.I is the same but occasionally they’ll walk on walls as well. Don’t expect too much support from your fellow NPC marine chums either because they’re A.I is just as good.

Anyway the story continues to try and build suspense as it goes and fails miserably. It turns out that one of your fellow marines has an alien inside of her and you have to go on a little jolly to try and save her. I call it a jolly because the aliens really aren’t scary when you out number them and they run towards you in straight lines. After that you have to find a way of leaving the planet. Turns out whoever wrote this storyline had no imagination and just decided to steal a load of stuff from the films, rewrite some of it as if it was fan fiction, throw it all together, and call it a game.

But the writers and A.I programmers aren’t completely to blame for how bad this game really is, because whoever designed the graphics did such a bad job that I spend thirty minutes thinking that my TV was broken! How can you make graphics that bad in 2013 and at the end of a computer generation? At least make the doors and elevators look descent if you’re going to force players to stand in front of them for twelve minutes whilst the game loads up the next section.

The weapons appear to be very cool though. Well for about an hour anyway. They’ve kept the weapons from the film which is great and they do give you quite a few weapons to choose from. As well as this, as you rank up you unlock upgrades for your weapons. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be much difference in the weapon choices and they all pretty much have the same specs as each other. What also seems brilliant at first but will leave you wanting to listen to traffic go by just for some variety, is the sound of the weapons. They sound just like they do in the film. This is awesome and I’m sure there would have been outrage if they’d changed it. But when you have five guns that all sound the same going off constantly for six hours.... well let’s just say this could be adopted as a new torture technique.

Most people will struggle to finish this campaign and will probably only do so because they feel that they need to get their money’s worth. But there is no chance that anyone will replay this campaign. The only reason anyone will put themselves through a second play through of this is because they’ve got a friend that hasn’t played it yet and they want to see them suffer.   

MULTIPLAYER

The multiplayer is where it was expected that this game would redeem itself. After all, there are a lot of games that have awful campaigns but really good multiplayer segments. Well it can be said that the multiplayer aspect of this game is better than its campaign aspect, but that doesn’t really tell anyone anything.   

There are four different modes for multiplayer. Team Deathmatch is one of them and by far the worst aspect of multiplayer. It’s a standard run around and shoot aliens game. Unless you’re the aliens then you’ve got to attack the marines. What makes it worse is that you still have the same weapons from the campaign, so you may as well all have the same gun. But if you’re an alien then you’re in luck because you get to choose out of three different primary attacks. The developers really messed up what they could do with both aliens and marines right here.

The next mode, which is slightly better than Team Deathmatch, is Extermination. Your class choices are the same as before and are the same throughout all the multiplayer modes. But the small difference is that the marines in this mode have to set bombs to destroy nests of alien eggs, whilst the aliens have to stop this from happening. The idea is pretty good but it’s ruined mainly by the fact that there is some sort of overlord voice telling you what is going on ever five seconds and repeating itself three or four times. It’s extremely irritating.

Then there’s Survivor mode and you have to... well survive. All this mode consists of is four marines hiding in a corner whilst four aliens run towards them. It is really boring. The only upside to this mode is that when playing as the aliens you have a bit more access to different classes. But you have to find them around the map and they’re still not a great improvement.

The final mode is called Escape. This mode is actually quite fun. It’s like Survivor but this time the marines have to make their way from one end of the map to the other. It’s quite enjoyable but at the same time you’ll find yourself thinking something along the lines of “Left 4 Dead does this so much better” and saying to your friends stuff like “Someone remind me, Why are we playing this instead of Left 4 Dead?”.

At least I can say the controls were good though. I’d be lying of course, but I can still say it. To be fair they’re not terrible, but they’re not good either. Controlling the marines is ok if not a little erratic at times, but controlling the aliens isn’t good at all. Actually it’s when you first take control of an alien that you realise how regimented their motions really are. 

THE VERDICT

Aliens: Colonial Marines is one of the worst things to come out of this franchise, and that’s saying a lot. The story seems to be a load of ideas that have been stolen from the films. Then they’ve been thrown together, mixed around, and edited to make even less sense. If the story wasn’t so boring I think people would actually be angry. The graphics do an ok job, but then have some real bad parts that are just unforgivable. Then there’s the A.I. It does the job but it should do a lot better. If you like you ‘A’ to have some ‘I’ then expect to be disappointed. The weapons and sound effects are fun to start with but they soon lose their novelty, and there is no way anyone is going to replay the campaign. The multiplayer redeems itself a little, but not by much. It has some game mode variety, but they’re all quite boring and have been done a lot better by other games a few years ago. It’s a shame that the developers have ruined this great opportunity that they were given.

  

LHSRAting for Aliens: Colonial Marines 4.3/10 (Xbox 360)

-Ayden

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Film Review: Les Misérables

Les Misérables is quite possibly the best novel based, turned musical play, turned film, ever. Alright, that might be a bit of a small category area, but it’s still pretty damn good. It has something for everyone and even the most masculine of people won’t be able to help but enjoy this well told story.

Les Mis is a musical drama set in France during the 19^th century, which itself is a brilliant historical place and time. The story follows a man named Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman), an ex-convict who breaks bail and is constantly on the run from a police officer called Javert (Russell Crowe). During the film Valjean comes into contact with a range of different people, spanning from prostitutes and convicts, to revolutionaries and priests. Each one of them has a unique tale to tell about their lives, and each one is gripping in its own way.

As you would expect with a musical there is quite a lot of singing in this film. In fact, unlike most other musical films, this story is almost 100% sung to us. At first it seems a little strange, but after the first five minutes you kind of forget that it’s a musical and you just find yourself engrossed in the character’s lives. Most of the music, like most of the film, is really quite depressing. But you kind of have to expect that in a film that is about the people at the bottom of society in a time and place that was well and truly hard.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. Thénardier (Sacha Baron Cohen) and his wife (Helena Bonham Carter) bring a comical element to the film and just as you’re about to cry they will make you laugh. I honestly think this is the best role Cohen has ever played. It’s like it was written just for him.

That been said, every single actor played their role perfectly and the acting really could not have been improved. It’s even more impressive when you think that most of the main actors aren’t professional singers. One actor that stood out for me though has to be the young Daniel Huttlestone who plays Gavroche, a child soldier who is more than aware of his position in society and is more than happy to do his part for the French revolution.

The only real complaint I have to make about this film is that it did go on a little too long. Even for a brilliant musical, 158 minutes is quite a long time. So even though there is something for everyone in this film, it goes on for a while so you might be waiting sometime between the parts that you enjoy. That been said though, I personally enjoyed the entire thing, just some parts more than others. It’s still worth sitting through and it is really only the ending that seems to drag a little.  

THE VERDICT

Les Misérables might turn out to be the best musical you’ll have seen in recent memory. It is set in a period of French history that was a really hard time to live in, and tells the story of one man and those that he comes into contact with throughout his life. The music and songs sang tell the story brilliantly and the acting is next to flawless. Even though the film goes on for quite a long time, it is still one that could make you shed a tear or two and will definitely make you laugh on occasion.

LHSRAting for Les Misérables 8/10

-Ayden

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Film Review: Wreck-it Ralph

Ralph (John C. Reilly) is a computer villain in an arcade and he’s been around for thirty years. It’s his job to wreck the crap out of things whilst Fix-it Felix (Jack Mcbrayer), well, fixes it and is loved by everyone for it. Ralph on the other hand is hated by everyone in this computer game universe, even though he’s really a nice guy who has been programmed to do a bad job. So after thirty years of being bullied for been a bad guy Ralph decides he can be a hero and goes on a quest to prove it by game jumping across the arcade that he’s in. During this film Ralph and other characters show a range of different games and characters from different gaming generations.

Wreck-it Ralph is a well animated film with some great voice acting. It has a funny storyline for both young children and adult gamers. The film is bright and colourful and very fast paced, which will keep children entertained. At the same time there are some well hidden adult jokes (similar to how The Simpsons do it). If you’re an adult gamer then you’ll appreciate it even more as they’ve sneaked in loads of little references to games and consoles (like the Konami Code). So if you have a young child that you want to keep occupied for an hour or two and you’re into computer games, then this film is perfect for you! 

Wreck-it Ralph is superb role modelling for children as well. It shows that some people that seem bad might be good and that those that seem good, might be bad. It also teaches that you shouldn’t bully people because of things that they’re born/programmed with. I know that you’d probably expect that from a Disney film, but to be honest they have a huge track record of racially and sexually profiling their characters. This doesn’t seem to happen in this film though and this made me very happy, especially with female badasses like Sergeant Calhoun (Jane Lynch) and Vanellope von Schweets (Sarah Silverman). With any luck this will be a direction that Disney continues to go in. 

The film could probably have done with featuring more of the real game characters as they don’t really make very many appearances. However, they may have made the right decision not to give them bigger roles because if they got it wrong there would have been a lot of complaining from the gaming community. Something that they shouldn’t have done though is put in that awful ‘music’ by Rihanna, although it did fit quite well and I almost didn’t notice it until she repeated the word ‘drive’ several times.  

 

THE VERDICT

Ralph is bad, and that’s good. He’ll never be good, and that’s not bad. In fact, it’s pretty damn brilliant. This is a great story for young children, parents, and adult gamers. It sets a good example for children to follow whilst entertaining them, and has some brilliant voice acting in it too. At the same time Wreck-it Ralph is filled with adult humour and gamer references. We don’t see as many real game characters as would be liked, but it still works very well. Disney have made a great family film here and I really recommend that if you’re taking the kids to the cinema this weekend, that you take them to see this film.

LHSRAting for Wreck-it Ralph 8.5/10

-Ayden

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Film Review: Lincoln

This isn’t Spielberg’s best film. But when you’ve directed almost 50 movies, and amongst them are some of the greats such as Schindler’s List, then a film not being your best doesn’t really mean much... And to be fair it’s still up there.

Lincoln starts off by showing a brutally bloody battle one year before the end of the American civil war and the opening scene really sucks you in from the offset. That’s pretty much as far as the film goes with showing us the horrors of the American civil war however. So if you want to watch a film that has loads of battle scenes in it, then this film is not for you.

Instead Lincoln moves forward to the very final months of the civil war and is mainly focused around the political struggles that Abraham Lincoln (Daniel Day-Lewis) faces in trying to pass the thirteenth amendment to end slavery, whilst at the same time trying to end the war... at the right time. Lincoln is a film that is fully focused on US history and politics. It shows the struggles that the Union faced internally in trying to eradicate slavery, the different views that particular groups of politicians had on giving slaves their freedom, and even touched on Lincoln’s own views regarding equality between white and black people (although unless you know what Lincolns views really where then you probably won’t realise). 

Daniel Day-Lewis does a superb job at playing the role of Lincoln; a mainly calm, storytelling, convincing man that was loved by most. He shows how Lincoln had a knack for changing the minds of men without them realising what he was doing until it was already done.

 

But I don’t think Daniel Day-Lewis was the best actor in this film and I don’t think that Abraham Lincoln was the best Character either, even though it’s a film about him. The guy who stole the show for me and made me really connect with this film was Representative Thaddeus Stevens (Tommy Lee Jones). Stevens would probably be classed as an extreme left winger in today’s US politics, so you can imagine what the thought of him in the 19^th century. He not only advocated that black people should be free from slavery, but that they should be treated as white people’s equal (something that Lincoln never did).  Anyway, I digress into a History lesson, although that is what this film is. Stevens in this film is portrayed brilliantly and he has an extremely dry, insulting wit that he uses in the House constantly in quick response to any attack that is sent his way. In short, Stevens will make you laugh in this film because he’s brilliantly provocative.

     

Unfortunately this film is a little too long for my liking and could probably have told the same story in two hours. The end also seems quite messy. It seems that Lincoln’s death is rushed through as a way of trying to avoid telling that par of history. And then there’s a bit of a flashback to one of Lincoln’s speeches. It’s a shame really because this film could have ended a lot better in a number of different ways.  

  

THE VERDICT

Lincoln is a brilliant film for portraying US history (although too gently at times) and the political system that surrounded the Union towards the end of the civil war. This film will teach you about a very important era in US history whilst giving you a glimpse into who the people at the time really were. The acting in it is brilliant and the characters are played exceptionally well.  Lincoln, although a very serious film, will not fail to make you laugh on occasions. This goes double if you enjoy politics as well. But if you’re not into politics or history and you need lots of battle scenes, then this film isn’t for you and you may find that its 150 minute length may drag. Otherwise, this film is worth a watch.

LHSRAting for Lincoln – 7.8/10

- Ayden